Happy holidays from Behavior/Shift! We will keep it light this week and focus on some simple (science backed) ways to reflect, refresh, and be present this season. Wishing you all the best and lots of meaningful time spent. Back to our regularly scheduled science-heavy programming next week.
One of the quiet superpowers of the holidays is their ability to bend time. A song comes on. A smell drifts through the kitchen. A familiar ornament reappears from a box that hasn’t been opened in a year.
And suddenly, you’re not just here…you’re then.
Back in a moment that mattered. With people who shaped you. Feeling something that doesn’t show up on your calendar but lives deep in our brains.
Psychologically, holidays work like time machines. They reconnect us with our past selves and remind us that we are much more than our current to-do list. The idea that a cue (the song, smell, or other sensory experience) can trigger a vivid memory is known in many circles as the Proust Phenomenon (Proust Effect). Named after Novelist Marcel Proust, this phenomenon’s roots began as a passage in his Novel In Search of Lost Time involving involuntary memory triggered by a madeleine cake. It eventually led to neuroscience and psychological studies in involuntary recall and involuntary autobiographical memory.
And, this phenomenon matters more than we tend to realize.
Need a fast start in 2026? Grab the 2026 Behavior/Shift Goal Calendar for a 365-day journey from understanding your “true self” to setting and achieving big life goals. Use code SUBSTACK for an additional 10% off our holiday sale price at checkout.
Why looking backward can actually move us forward
Reflection often gets a bad rap. We think of it as rumination or nostalgia for nostalgia’s sake. Rumination keeps us stuck in what went wrong. Reflection reconnects us with who we’ve been when things went right.
Research consistently shows that recalling meaningful personal memories (especially those tied to positive connection) strengthens our sense of identity and emotional stability. Psychologists studying autobiographical memory have found that revisiting meaningful moments from our past strengthens our sense of identity and emotional stability, especially during stressful periods .
When we revisit moments where we felt loved, supported, or at ease, we’re not escaping the present. We’re anchoring ourselves in it.
Those memories stabilize us when things feel rushed, uncertain, or overwhelming - which, let’s be honest, is how the holidays can feel a lot of the time.
Why holidays amplify connection (and why your brain loves that)
Holidays naturally pull us into shared rituals - meals, traditions, inside jokes, holiday shows (“The Grinch – anyone?), repeated stories that somehow never get old. These moments do more than feel nice. They trigger neurochemical responses tied to bonding and well-being.
Time with people we trust increases serotonin and oxytocin (Heinrichs, Baumgartner, Kirschbaum, and Ehlert (2004)), which help regulate mood, reduce stress, and deepen feelings of belonging. Even very brief moments of genuine connection - laughing over a story, cooking together, remembering someone who’s no longer at the table - create emotional deposits that last much longer than the moment itself.
In other words: the connection doesn’t just feel good. It does good.
And yes - holidays can be joyful and stressful
Both things can be true at the same time.
We know that holiday time isn’t always the wonderful, happy, and joyous occasion that it is presented in the Hallmark cards or movies. The holidays also bring expectations, logistics, old family dynamics, and pressure to make everything “perfect.”
Stress doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re human, navigating emotionally loaded territory. The goal isn’t to eliminate stress. It’s to buffer it with moments that ground you in meaning.
Here are three small, science-aligned actions that can help you de-stress by leaning into memory and connection
Note: these can be nice to do even if you are not stressed.
1. Take three minutes to revisit a “warm memory.”
Pick one specific holiday moment from the past that made you feel safe, loved, or at peace. Don’t analyze it - just replay it. Sensory details help: what you heard, smelled, or felt. Even brief memory immersion can lower stress and increase emotional regulation. Take that deep breath and revisit a happy time from the past.
2. Ask one question that unlocks stories.
Instead of default small talk, ask someone: “What’s a holiday moment you still think about or that has great meaning for you?” While this might feel strange, we know from work done by Nick Epley, Michael Kardas, and Amit Kumar that more meaningful questions drive deeper connection (and are appreciated more by the people we talk with). Storytelling strengthens bonds and creates shared meaning - more effectively than small talk about the weather or how the local sports team is doing.
3. Savor one ordinary moment on purpose.
Choose a single, mundane moment during this time - your first sip of coffee, putting gifts in socks, peeling potatoes, cleaning up the wrapping paper, - and slow it down for 30 seconds. Focus on what you are doing and what it is like. Connect it to the warm feeling of the season. Savoring doesn’t require happiness; it just requires attention. Even neutral moments become stabilizing and memorable when you notice them (yes – even peeling potatoes).
A gentle reframe for the season
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. They just need moments of presence, connection, and reflection.
When you allow yourself to remember where you’ve been and who you’ve been with along the way - you give your nervous system a break and your heart a little more room to breathe.
That reflective glow isn’t a longing for time gone by, it’s fuel for the present.
Wishing you moments that slow time down, savor, and remember, even briefly, and help you to keep on shifting.
This Week’s Shift
A weekly reminder to rethink, reflect, and act:
What is a favorite tradition that you have during the holidays? What is a new one that you might want to add?
Listen
Go deeper into this week’s topic:
Thoughtful Reads
Curated ideas to inspire reflection:
Where getting happiness wrong.
Dealing with your inner critic.
Join us on Substack. Every week in Behavior Shift Weekly, we share ideas grounded in behavioral science and psychology, practical tools to help you think differently, act intentionally, and build the life you actually want.