It’s easy to dream, but harder to achieve.
One thing that we’ve learned from our work is: meaningful change doesn’t come from doing more, it comes from doing what matters most.
That’s why it is important to make sure that your goals are helping you focus on the right things – and that’s what we will be exploring this week: how to set goals that align with your true self.
Keystone Goals: The Goals That Change Everything
You’ve set countless goals in your life: Get fit. Learn new skills. Save money. Eat healthier.
How many of those have stuck?
If you are like most of us, some of them see fruition, but most of them fade.
A quick look at New Year’s resolution adherence rates demonstrates this well. While the data varies a bit across sources – the consensus is that only about 9% of resolutions are achieved, more than 20% are abandoned by the second week of January and more than 40% call it quits by February (and this is probably an undercount of people giving up).
Don’t be too hard on yourself though, it’s not necessarily because you’re undisciplined. It’s often because most of us were never taught how to design goals that actually motivate us to transform our lives, not just tweak them. Behavioral science shows us that big, life-changing goals need to be more than a whim on New Years Eve – even more than writing down something you want badly. To drive real meaningful change, they need to tap into your core underlying self and align with your values.
Sure, we’ve probably all been exposed to various systems like SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound), at some point in our life. And while these are useful for execution, they rarely spark the kind of deep motivation needed for meaningful change. They are good for getting the small things done, but they don’t reshape your identity or momentum.
That’s where our concept of Keystone goals come in. They act as catalysts for motivation. They define the direction you travel. They create ripples that extend far beyond the goal itself.
So, what are Keystone Goals?
Keystone goals are primary, high-impact objectives (i.e., outcome goals) that drive progress across multiple areas of your life or work. They are deeply aligned with the values that you hold. And, because they reflect your values, pursuing them produces momentum that makes related objectives more attainable. They create alignment between your present actions and your long-term aspirations.
Keystone goals aren’t about ticking boxes, a true keystone goal:
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Positively impacts other areas of your life.
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Challenges and stretches you.
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Sparks motivation strong enough to keep you moving, even when progress feels slow.
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Aligns with your “true self” – the values and experiences that give your life meaning.
Behavioral science offers a strong explanation for why this works. Goal-systems theory (Kruglanski and colleagues, 2002) shows that our goals form interconnected networks: some serve as “means” to achieve higher-level “ends.” When the higher-level goal is meaningful and well-defined, it organizes supporting habits and sub-goals almost automatically.
That’s the function of a keystone goal. It defines your direction. It shapes your choices. It helps you sustain the changes that matter.
And when you choose the right one, the effects compound. For example:
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A keystone goal that improves your fitness also boosts mood, energy, and patience – qualities that strengthen your work, your relationships, and your output.
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Advancing your career amplifies confidence, stability, and creative drive.
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Committing to a creative practice generates joy and presence, which spills into healthier daily routines and improves connections with people.
This is the power of a keystone goal: it drives compounding growth across many areas of your life.
Setting YOUR Keystone Goals: Start with YOUR Values
Before you determine a keystone goal, you need clarity on what genuinely matters to you. Excitement and motivation don’t appear out of nowhere – they come from alignment.
Goals only create sustainable motivation when they align YOU desire – not with what others think you should pursue.
That’s harder than it sounds. Many of our earliest impulses about goals are shaped by outside expectations: the career path a parent encouraged, the lifestyle our peers admire, the hobbies we feel we’re “supposed” to enjoy (i.e., pickleball). These influences can blur the line between what we truly want and what we’ve absorbed from the world around us.
Social psychologist Arie Kruglanski states that we all have a quest for significance: the universal drive to feel that our actions matter and that our lives reflect what we find meaningful. Research on self-concordant goals (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999) consistently shows that when goals are rooted in values rather than external expectations, people persist longer, cope better with setbacks, and experience greater satisfaction.
This is where self-honesty becomes essential. A fulfilling goal requires alignment with your underlying self – your actual preferences, not the ones you’ve inherited or rationalized. But because our brains are skilled at weaving external expectations into our sense of identity, those distinctions can feel murky.
Identifying our true selves and the values we hold is hard. This work can feel uncomfortable. Our minds are very good at smoothing over doubts and absorbing the expectations of others until those expectations feel like our own. That’s why slowing down is essential. Give yourself space to ask what truly fulfills you – and whether a goal reflects your authentic preferences or external pressure. Let your thoughts rest for a day or two. That quiet processing often reveals which desires feel genuinely yours.
Values to Consider
To help with that reflection, here’s a set of values commonly used in behavioral research and coaching. Reviewing a list like this can make it easier to spot the themes that matter most to you. Notice which words energize you, which feel neutral, and which feel irrelevant. That pattern of words is often more honest than your first impulse at which ones you align with. You might want to write these down as you start to think about this to ensure that you are able to track the patterns.
Another simple starting point of identifying your core values is reflection. By taking a hard look at our past, we can find hints as to what really motivates us or keeps us down. Look back over the past six months and notice the patterns.
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When did you feel fully engaged or proud of how you showed up?
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When was I happiest? What was I doing and who was I with?
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What did I look forward to doing? When did I feel energized?
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Which moments left you drained or disconnected?
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What did I stress over the most?
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What did I tend to procrastinate about or avoid doing?
By answering these questions honestly and reflecting on your responses, you can gain greater self-awareness and identify areas of your life that are bringing you joy and happiness as well as those that may be holding you back or bringing you down.
These experiences reveal the difference between goals that reflect who you think you should be and goals that reflect who you actually are. Keystone goals emerge from the latter.
Understanding your true self is the first step in creating Keystone goals that help you live a better, more fulfilling life. Next week, we will outline some additional aspects of how to create really powerful keystone goals. Until then, mull over the values and reflection points above – let them simmer in the back of your mind and anytime you draw inspiration, jot it down, your future self will thank you.
Keep Shifting,
This Week’s Shift
A weekly reminder to rethink, reflect, and act:
You can make one change in your life right now—what is it?
Listen
Go deeper into this week’s topic:
Why You Need to Set Keystone Goals
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Every week in Behavior Shift Weekly, we share ideas grounded in behavioral science and psychology, practical tools to help you think differently, act intentionally, and build the life you actually want.